


Circus beast

by TheBeautyOfTarth



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:49:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24619384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeautyOfTarth/pseuds/TheBeautyOfTarth
Summary: Young Jaime can't stop dreaming about his dead mother, not until he meets her.
Relationships: Cersei Lannister & Jaime Lannister & Tyrion Lannister, Jaime Lannister & Brienne of Tarth, Jaime Lannister & Joanna Lannister, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 15
Kudos: 60





	1. CHAPTER 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been on my usb for so long so i might as well publish it. I'm probably changing the title at some point since i'm not happy about this one. This is kinda an alternate universe where plots and fighting for the throne are not that relevant but Tywin is definitely into making his house the most important and powerful by itself.  
> Ages:  
> Jaime/Cersei 10  
> Brienne 8  
> Tyrion 6

“Jaime, are you awake?” he felt a small hand insistently shaking his shoulder 

“what’s the matter Tyrion?” he groaned and rolled to the other side of the bed to face his little brother. He was small, smaller than any six-year-old should be.

“I heard from uncle Gerion the mummers are in Lannisport _again_. I want to go and see the acrobats”

“I don’t think father would approve; you know he hates mummers”

“This could be my chance to join them and leave Casterly Rock. People like to see grotesque creatures” he said hopeful. His brother was born a dwarf and it seemed like everyone had made sure he never forgets he’s a shame to the family and an aberration of nature, specially his father and twin sister.

“don’t talk like that. If you leave me, I’ll be all alone” Jaime said miserably

“You still have Cersei”

“she _hates_ me” he protested

Tyrion chuckled “that makes it two of us then”

“come here” Jaime lifted his blanket and his little brother climbed on the bed next to him

“Uncle Gerion could take us to the fair without father knowing”

“He will know, he always finds out. Father will get mad at our uncle if he takes us” he frowned “I guess we’ll go to the fair then” Knowing their uncle lived to defy Tywin’s orders, they both grinned and went to sleep.

***

“Jaime”

the sweet voice of his dead mother called him. Jaime was standing outside her room, the candle lights on the dark hallway flickered with the wind “come to me my dear son” she insisted and Jaime slowly started walking towards the door. He stepped into a puddle of blood coming from inside “closer” he heard her say “come inside my child” he was afraid, the air felt heavy on his lungs and the smell of blood was such it made him nauseous and clouded his senses. Still, he kept walking towards the voice who was insistently calling for him and as soon as he had crossed the threshold door, he saw her. She was sitting on her bed pale as snow matching her white nightgown, her long blonde hair wet and sticking to her face, sweat on her forehead, sheets soaked in blood. Big drops of the red liquid dripping on the ground making the poodle bigger and bigger _*drip, drip*_

“give mommy a hug” she extended her arms in a welcoming manner, her ghostly white cracked lips managed to curl into a smile _*drip, drip, drip*_

He walked slowly towards her and felt his cheeks wetting with his own tears

“faster” she insisted _*drip, drip*_

He climbed the bed and looked at her mother. Her eyes were black instead of green, so black he couldn’t see any white or shine on them. She embraced him into a thigh hug. She was cold, very cold “stay with me” she whispered. Her nails dug deep into his flesh and he could feel the cold entering his body, deep within his core. He tried to get away from her, struggling under her embrace, he was getting colder _*drip, drip*_ his teeth started to chatter _*drip, drip*_ “mother, please” he begged while trying to let go of her. He finally managed to break the embrace but as soon as he looked up, he froze terrified. Her flesh was melting and he could see her skull coming into view, her face contorting into something he couldn’t describe, her arms rounding him were now just bones. He freed himself and ran screaming as fast as he could “Jaime” he heard her mother calling for him desperately _“Jaime”_

***

he woke up with a scream and drenched in sweat “Jaime!” Tyrion was shaking him, tears in his little eyes. He was breathing heavily and had to reassure himself what had just happened was just yet another nightmare, same as the others. His screams woke up half the castle and not soon after he had woken up from the dream, some servants and family members had gathered outside his door to see if he was ok.

The maester came and gave him milk of the poppy so he could go back to sleep. Jaime liked the milk, it made him have a dreamless sleep. His eyelids felt so heavy. Aunt Genna came and stroked his hair until he felt the milk of the poppy was doing its job. “you can’t keep spoiling him like that Gen” his father’s voice said “he won’t grow up from his silly nightmares if everyone keeps pampering him”

“He’s just ten namedays old Ty, still a child” “he’s almost a man grown and needs to start behaving like one, is about bloody time” they kept arguing with one another but his mind kept fading away thanks the milk, he could hear some voices but couldn’t make any sense out of them.

He liked the milk of the poppy, it made him feel like he didn’t exist and he liked that. He opened his eyes one last time, his vision was blurry, but he recognized the figure standing at the corner of his room. His little brother was crying for him, his dad’s and aunt’s raised voices still filling the room. He should be the one protecting him he thought. He needed to be strong for Tyrion.

He closed his eyes and the voice of his twin sister resonated on his head _“you’re weak”_ she loves telling him that, he had heard it at least a thousand times he thinks _“I should have been the boy, and you the girl”_ is the last he recalls before embracing the comforting emptiness he knows too well.

***

Tywin was going back to his room when he was stopped by one of his subjects “My Lord, a word if it pleases you”

“What is it Maester Louis?” he turned irritated. After getting his sleep interrupted once again, he was in no mood for anything.

“is about Lord Jaime” he informed him “I’m afraid I just can’t keep giving him milk of the poppy every night my Lord. I’ve noticed how he’s so eager to have it each night and I’ve tried to apply it only when necessary like tonight but the little lord asks me to give it to him every night before going to bed and if I refuse, he gets violent. He’s been drinking it for so long I’m afraid is making him more harm than good”

Tywin understood what the master meant. He had had enough examples with his own father, a drunk and pathetic man that would become even more pathetic if he didn’t have a goblet of wine at hand “Very well Maester, don’t give him more milk of the poppy, I forbid it from now on. But I have a question for you, how do you plan to help my son with his nightmares if not with sedatives?” he arched an eyebrow “he’s been like this for years now and nothing seems to really help”

“I’ve been researching My lord, there’s a plant that helps the sleep. Is a rare plant but still I can try to make a brew out of it and see how good it is”

“Very well, feel free to take any resource you need to develop it. You have a week to make my son stop having nightmares or your head will be on a spike” The maester’s face paled but bowed nonetheless “understood my lord”

***

As Tyrion suspected, the next day uncle Gerion had smuggled his two favorite nephews out of the castle and deposited them into a cart that was heading for

Lannisport. With the excuse of going to buy some things the Maester and Genna requested, he had brought some men along and a not so empty cart to carry all the stuff he was meant to buy. The two boys lay on it and were covered with some rags. As soon as they had lost the castle out of sight Gerion whistled, a sign for them that was safe to show their blonde manes to the world.

If some of his men were surprised to see the boys emerge, they didn’t make any comments. Gerion jumped out of his horse to the cart and started telling them a little more about the wonders they were about to see. Buffoons, dancing bears, Sword swallowers, contortionists, trapezes, and the most recent attraction: a singing beast or so he heard.

They both liked uncle Gerion, specially Tyrion. He was one of the few relatives he had that didn’t care about pleasing Tywin by ignoring his dwarf son. He would sneak to his room at night to read him stories about magic and dragons long time gone because he knew how much he liked them, he even taught him to juggle even though Tyrion still had to master the art.

Despite that neither Jaime or Tyrion told him what they were planning. Tyrion wanted to join the mummers and he was planning on not going back to Casterly Rock after tonight. Jaime agreed to help him out under the condition that he would inspect if it was a proper place for his little brother.

***

They arrived at Lannisport a few hours later and Gerion mounted both his nephews on his mare securing them firmly. He guided the horse while he walked searching around the market the things he was supposed to buy. They needed to make time until the evening, until the show started.

They were being spoiled by their uncle. Whatever they fancied he bought for them. By the end of the day half the things on the card were gifts for Jaime and Tyrion.

The time had come at last and they took their seats. People knew who they were so they were seated in the best places on the front road. Jaime and Tyrion were ecstatic, the show started. And, as their uncle promised, the show was mesmerizing and fun. They would hold their bellies from laughter when the buffoons performed and they would look astonished at the trapezes. The final act was about to start but Gerion frowned at the ringmaster’s words “And now, the performance you’ve all been waiting for. Our newest attraction, the ugliest maid alive with the most magnificent voice ever heard” everyone around them started whispering _‘the voice of a siren in the body of a beast’_ some said, _‘ugliest maid indeed’_ , what an amusement she was he heard. Gerion looked at his nephews but they didn’t seem to hear anything, they kept smiling and waiting for the grand finale.

A girl came out of behind a curtain and he could just see a girl, tall and unfortunately homely yes, but a little girl nonetheless. He was disappointed since people had said it would be a beast. He took it too literal and expected maybe one of the bears had been taught to sing.

The girl was shy but when she started singing, he got goosebumps. A siren indeed.

It was a short song but they were right, the best singing he had heard, sweet and filled with emotion. He looked around and there were women crying on the crowd, his own nephews were quiet and focused listening to the little girl. Soon the song was over and the crowd stood from their seats clapping furiously, he followed suit.

**

As soon as the girl finished, Tyrion saw the opportunity and slipped from his seat tugging Jaime along. They both ran outside and went to see the bears. They had lions at Casterly Rock but definitely not dancing bears. Then they started looking for the performers’ tents. Jaime and Tyrion agreed he would stay hidden inside a chest until the mummers left Lannisport for the next city and only then he would show himself and offer to become one of them. He would travel the world being the best dwarf juggler and Jaime would go visit him once in a while. It was a good plan. They went tent by tent until they found one with a chest large enough for him to fit, not that it would be so difficult. Jaime was helping Tyrion inside when they heard a voice behind them

“What are you doing here?” Jaime looked behind his shoulder and saw her. The singer girl. Tall as he remembered from the show, but now he could see her up close. Everything on her was plain but she had the most astonishing eyes he had ever seen. Big and bluer than the ocean.

He let go of Tyrion's leg and he fell inside with a loud thud “ouch!”

The girl got closer to help him get Tyrion out. Mission accomplished, she started questioning their presence there. They told her their plan and she just looked at them in disbelief someone would willingly become a mummer. She laughed heartily at them. Jaime decided her laugh was as melodious as her singing, still he felt mocked. In an abrupt movement, he unsheathed the wooden sword his uncle had bought for him and fastened on his hip earlier that day “don’t mock me or my brother or I’ll have to punish you” he said pointing his toy sword towards her

The girl was surprised at first but then rolled her eyes at him and laughed again “I said not to mock me” he charged and she moved out of his way, she kicked him and he fell on the floor “oof” his sword left his hand and landed a few feet from him. Tyrion and the tall girl got close to see if he was ok, Jaime was on his back looking up, he started laughing and the others laughed with him.

They sat next to him and Jaime and Tyrion started questioning their new friend.

“What is your name?” Tyrion asked the tall girl

“people call me many names” she looked sad and ashamed at that question, eyes staring at the floor “you can call me _Diny_ if you want, is the less offensive of them”

“sounds like a pretty name” Jaime said. His brother got closer and whispered “i think that is high valyrian for ‘beast’” the youngest looked at her with sympathy in his eyes. Jaime then remembered people calling her act _“the singing beast”_ and got angry.

“what is your real name?” Jaime asked again

“I don’t remember. The mummers found me in the forest when I was very little” if I had a name I’m just _‘Dyni’_ or _‘beast’_ now” Jaime nodded in understandment

“Are you happy with them?” he asked next

She lifted her huge eyes towards him, the answer was written all over her face. He was young but he could recognize that expression everywhere: despair. “They feed me well enough” she was lying. She was as thin as she was tall.

They chatted some more with her and she even performed a few songs for them.

After a while a yell interrupted them all _“Tyrion, Jaime!”_

“it’s uncle Gerion!” Tyrion said “he must be furious” worried, he stood up from the floor and headed out to call for him

“I’ll come back for you” Jaime said and followed his brother

That night his mother appeared in his dreams once again. Rotting flesh falling from her face, he was terrified, his body shacked and he could feel the cold creeping on his bones until he heard a sweet singing. Her mother faded out on the fog and when it cleared, he saw her standing in front of him. The girl from the mummer’s show was there, singing and dressed all in white. When she finished her song, everything vanished.

That night Jaime did not wake up. He had a dreamless sleep.

***

The girl continued performing night after night as she was told to. By now she should have almost forgotten about the kids she caught sneaking in the tent if it wasn’t because she didn’t have any friends her age, or any other friends for that matter. She kept replaying his words, he would come back to play with her he had said. Still he and his brother had yet to appear.

At the fourth day he came back as he promised, but not alone.

A great Lord came and paid an absurd amount of money for her. They took her to their castle.


	2. CHAPTER 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments on the previous one! I hope you like this new chapter.

Her new life was better than traveling with the mummers but she had to admit she missed Maggie very much. She never knew her mother or father but she was the closest thing to a mother she would ever have. Sometimes she wondered if Maggie missed her as well.

Now she was given plain clothes as the rest of the servants but also more richly adorned ones, for when she had to perform in front of the Lannister family. They all loved hearing her sing, some of them were even pleasant enough, she wanted to believe they might even be fond of her but she knew they were lions and lions don’t mingle with the smallfolk. They would never make her forget she wasn’t part of the family but just a glorified servant. Except when she was alone with Jaime and Tyrion. They both acted more freely around her than with their own cousins and she was thankful they made her feel included somehow.

Lord Tyrion and Lord Jaime would often come to play with her and she was grateful for their company. Her duties during the day consisted mostly in helping around the servants but her real duty was to Lord Jaime. Every night, before going to sleep, she would sing at Jaime to prevent the nightmares. Then, she would leave as soon as she noticed he had fallen asleep.

This routine would happen by many moons. She sang and he slept.

**

Maester Louis was pleased to inform Tywin about his eldest progress. The young lord would be rested enough in the morning and he now had more energy thanks to the girl’s singing. He even started to act like a normal child, climbing trees and riding horses, he had started practicing with the master at arms and was found he had talent with the sword. Tywin was pleased to hear about Jaime’s improvement.

“you owe that girl your head Maester” Tywin said and dismissed him. He reflected about the girl. Besides being too tall for her age -they assumed she was around her 8th nameday- she was plain at best. If she had grown not being malnourished, she could probably be taller than she already was. And those eyes, blue like sapphires _‘could it be?’_ Tywin _shook his head ‘impossible’_ what matters now is that his heir is finally a normal boy and will become a fine Lord.

**

Her young master became braver each day; He even dared them to jump off the cliffs once, she and Tyrion had chickened out last minute. He was also good with the sword, his master at arms had told him as much. It made him feel more confident and she was pleased with his progress. He even started teaching Lord Tyrion and herself in secret. The younger brother would soon get bored and start reading books while herself and her lord would practice with fallen branches.

Then they would head off to the library where they took lessons with the maester. not a few days after she arrived to the castle, the older man offered to teach her how to read and she gladly accepted. It turned out she was as good as Tyrion with words but her lord Jaime would always struggle with them reason why he started taking his lessons in his father’s solar.

She also learned the art of embroidery. Being forced to practice along with Lady Cersei, Jaime’s twin sister, her cousins, and with other young ladies was probably the worst part of her day. She would always get reprimanded by the septa while she undid her work of the day so she could start over.

“Is not her fault dear septa, that she’s got bear paws instead of hands” lady Cersei said and all the girls laughed at her. Septa looked at Cersei reproachfully but said nothing. 

She might be lord Jaime’s twin sister and they could be a physical reflection of each other but, she was nothing like him. While he had been kind to her, she had been foul and vicious. No one in the castle really cared that much about her, she knew some even looked at her with disdain but no one had treated her as bad as Cersei, to the point she almost missed the mummers. She learned words hurt more than blows.

One particular day, while Jaime was teaching her to aim blows to certain specific parts of a practice dummy, lady Cersei came down to watch them practice. She didn’t like her at all and not just because she was mean to her, but because she was worse with lord Tyrion. Still, she couldn’t say anything to the daughter of her new master.

“pretending to be knights again dear brother?” Jaime tensed at her twin’s voice

“do you want to join us?” he offered hopping she would say no

Cersei snorted “a proper lady does not fancy herself a man” she got closer to them and inspected her. She had Jaime’s clothes on to spar better “isn’t that right _beast_?”

“don’t call her that!” Jaime warned her

“But that’s what she is dear brother” she looked at the tall girl “The mummers knew what she is, that’s why they gave her that name” Cersei walked near to her and grabbed a strand of Diny’s hair “just like straw” she kept inspecting her “teeth like a horse”

“shut up Cersei”

“Do not dare to talk to me again, _imp!”_ she spat with such hate no child of that age should feel yet “she might be a beast but you’re a monster. You killed mother” Tyrion made himself smaller and looked down, she could see unshed tears on his mismatched eyes. She was sorry he had to endure Cersei’s hatred for trying to defend her.

“Cersei, I warn you” Jaime growled

But she just kept circling her “Look at this beast. She’s so ugly even her parents left her” she told her twin. She couldn’t listen to her anymore. Diny dropped the practice sword and ran away

“why did you say that? She hasn’t done anything to you!” Jaime yelled

“she’s a servant, she should know her place” Cersei said coldly “she shouldn’t fancy herself a knight nor pretend to be a Lannister. She’s no one and you could use the reminder as well. She’s not your sister. _I am_ ”

**

That night she had finished her first song when Jaime’s voice came from under his blankets “Diny, could you sleep with me for tonight?”

“my lord, I…”

“I’ve told you to call me just by my name, call me Jaime”

“Lord Tywin forbade me to call you in such a familiar way”

“as well as practicing swordplay with me and you still do it. Come” she complied an went under the blankets “I’m really sorry about what my sister told you this afternoon”

“don’t worry about it” she tried to pretend it didn’t affect her

“she’s wrong, you know. I bet your parents loved you very much” she had spent a lot of time thinking about who their parents were. if they were still alive or if they were looking for her. She had given up long time ago, when one of the mummers told her her mother was most likely a whore that left her abandoned in the woods because she couldn’t feed her any longer. Like most of them did, he said. 

“I’m sure they did” she forced a smile

“Have you thought about any more names?”

“no, my lo… Jaime. I have not but Diny suits me fine, besides everyone calls me that now” he frowned 

“I know but I think your name is not fit for you. From now on I’ll call you ‘ _Gevie’,_ if you let me of course”

“is that high valyrian?”

“Yes” he smiled “It means beautiful, I checked with Tyrion” she flushed at the meaning

“I thank you but…” she could never be called like that. such a contradiction, she would have more reasons to be mocked now “I’d rather stay as I am”

He kept frowning, but didn’t insist anymore “If you don’t like it, I think ‘ _wench_ ’ will do then”

They both laughed

****

Two years passed flying and Diny was already used to her daily routine: getting up early to help the cooks in the kitchen and the maids during the cleaning of the rooms, then embroidery lessons. Then back at helping at the kitchen but at evening she was free of duties to attend lessons with Tyrion and then swordplay with Jaime, she would have dinner in the kitchen and head off to Jaime’s room to sing for him.

But one day Jaime wasn’t in the practice yard. That night she questioned his absence.

“My lord-”

“we are alone Diny, must I always insist you call me just Jaime?”

“Jaime” she blushed “I didn’t see you at the practice yard today”

“Father summoned me at his solar” it usually wasn’t good news, she waited for him to keep talking “he said I’m old enough to become a squire” she smiled then, but noticed he wasn’t because he had furrowed his brows “that’s what you’ve wanted since I met you”

“yes, but…”

“what is it? I thought you wanted to become a knight and travel the world doing good deeds and protecting the innocent”

“I do” he admitted and at her questioning look he just said “Tyrion”

“Lord Tyrion will be fine Jaime” she tried to reassure him of that no being completely sure he would

“perhaps” he said “I’m to be a squire for Lord Sumner. Father will send me to Crackenhall, _alone”_ he informed her _._ She understood now, _‘I’m staying as well’_ by now she was used to be so close to him, she had become his shadow. She couldn’t even start to phantom they would be apart. She was sad but deep down she always knew he wouldn’t need her services forever “will I go back to the mummers?” she grabbed the hem of her apron and busied her hands with it 

“no!” he grabbed one of her hands and clasped it with both of his “you’ll stay here, you’re not leaving. I’ll be back, is just for a few years” she felt a great relief and at the same time a pang on the heart her best friend was leaving. she nodded

“I’ll take care of Tyrion while you’re not here” she promised

“thank you Diny” he hugged her “Crackenhall is not that far away so I might be able to come and visit sometime maybe”

“Don’t worry about anything Jaime, go and become a knight. I’ll need you knighted so you can knight _me_ later on”

“count on that” they both grinned

The days before he left Casterly Rock passed too fast for both Diny’s and Tyrion’s liking but they refrained to say anything to Jaime because they both knew this was his dream; To become a knight.

They both stayed at the castle’s entrance until Jaime’s silhouette couldn’t be seen anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are well received!


	3. CHAPTER 3

Two years passed but Jaime decided to stay a bit longer at Crakenhall. he would send ravens once in a while. On his last letter, he asked his little brother for forgiveness since this year he couldn’t make it to his little brother’s nameday as he had promised, _again_.

“it’s ok” Tyrion said while toying with the piece of parchment but she knew him too well. He missed him, _she_ missed him as well. And he had promised he would come to visit them. He had yet to do good on that promise.

During those two years Diny and Tyrion learned to make themselves invisible. They found out it was the easiest way to avoid both mockery and mistreats from everyone, especially Cersei. She would often refer to them as ‘the freaks of the rock’, since they were always together. One freakishly tall for a girl still growing and the other a dwarf who couldn’t help being who he was. Cersei would bother them every time she could, instigating the other young ladies to join her on her mockery. Some of them did it just to please lord Tywin’s daughter.

Lord Gerion was a good man and he would try to spend as much time as he could with Tyrion -and consequently with her- whenever he was at his childhood home which wasn’t often enough. He spent more time at seas than in the castle therefore it was only both of them and no one else. They would regularly take comfort in talking about the things they would do whenever Jaime finally arrived; They would go to the meadows in horseback to lie on the grass and stare at the clouds, and they’d go swim on the lake. They would go to the cliffs with him again and this time, they would jump.

just a bit longer and he’ll be back, that’s what they would say to themselves.

Good news arrived a few months later, Jaime had been knighted by no other than Ser Arthur Dayne, the sword of the morning, for the valor he had shown in the battle against some outlaws. Lord Tywin swelled with pride and commissioned a sword with a pommel made of gold and rubies for his heir as a gift. But still, Jaime did not come back.

Brienne and Tyrion were disappointed but understood Jaime had better things to do now that he had earned a knighthood than coming back home just to be with them.

She was Tyrion’s only company and friend and no one would pay them to much attention so she would often sing for him at night as she did for Jaime, but she still felt a part of her was missing.

Jaime’s letters started to grow sparse until they stopped altogether.

Jaime left but at least she had Tyrion

****

Three more years passed without her young lord by her side. This time she had lost hope he would ever return. He might have found a young beautiful Lady and decided to marry. Diny didn’t know why the thought made her heart ache.

At evening she came to the library to meet Lord Tyrion. He looked tired and older than his ten and three namedays “what is it?” she asked knowing fully well something troubled him

He sighed “You’ll hear soon enough anyway, so I’m just going to tell you. I’m going to oldtown” Tyrion informed her

_“what? Why?”_

“I’m to become a maester”

“but…” her eyes looked at his, searching for some rational explanation. As much as he liked to study, he had never expressed his interest on becoming a maester. She knew what he longed the most and it wasn’t that.

“Father told me it was rather old town or the wall” his eyes where now full of unshed tears

“ _no_ ” was the only thing she could say, her own eyes watering “Jaime will never allow your father to send you away” she reached for his hand

“Jaime is not here” Tyrion stated and removed it from her touch “Jaime can’t protect me. You’d do well to remember he can’t protect you either” he said bitterly “he took too long”

After sometime she just managed to ask “when?” but he shrugged “any day from now” was his only answer

She couldn’t think about anything else but that Jaime had abandoned them both

***

A month passed by and she was relieved when the betrothal of Lady Cersei and prince Rhaegar was announced. She would go to Kingslanding soon and Diny wouldn’t have to see her ever again if the gods were good. 

A couple days later a raven arrived from Crakenhall, Jaime was finally coming home.

The castle burst to life. Every single servant was put to the task of cleaning the castle and leaving it ready for the arrival of the young Lord. A banquet was arranged for the prodigal son was coming back.

***

The day finally comes and she hurries up to finish her chores. She doesn’t want to be there for when he arrives so, making sure no one sees her, she braids her hair and leaves for the woods dressed just in a tunic and breeches and a wooden sword in hand.

She never retreats too far away from the castle in case she is needed. Arriving to her usual practice spot, she retrieves the straw dummy she hides inside some bushes and puts him in place.

She’s a bit clumsy and she knows it but no one will teach her so she often watches the master at arms teaching the future soldiers and she makes a great effort to imitate what she sees but without anyone there to guide or correct her she finds the task twice as hard. The straw dummy never moves or attacks in turn and she knows that’s a disadvantage as well. Despite that, she’s confident she could best some of the young lads in the practice yard but she’s a woman and women can’t fight.

Some time passes by and she keeps hacking and slashing at the dummy, her mind so focused she never realizes she’s no longer alone.

“I see you kept practicing after I left. You look strong but you definitely could use some sparring lessons” she tenses at the voice of the man behind her “you are so tall wench”

Only one person calls her like that “Jaime” she turns towards the voice and the air is suddenly knocked out of her lungs. A vision standing in front of her. It is her young lord, but he is a man grown now, golden and beautiful and half a god. She stands there unable to say or do anything, just staring at him, open mouthed.

“is that the way to greet your best friend?” he chuckles

“you’ve changed” she blushes cursing herself for her stupid reaction

“so do you” his smile is warm “I knew you’d be tall but gods I thought you’d have stopped growing by now” he teases her like he hasn’t been gone for almost six years. He gets closer and opens his arms for a hug but she instinctively takes two steps back, cheeks still flushed “My lord, is a pleasure to have you back at Casterly Rock again. I hope your trip was pleasant enough” she half bows half courtesies

he senses something is amiss “what’s wrong Diny”

“it took you a long time to get back” she says resentfully

“I wanted to come back sooner but there was always something that kept me behind. but I’m here now, I got back this time for good” he reassured her

“of course” She scoffs, drops the wooden sword and heads to the castle without looking back

***

Jaime finally arrives at the gates of Casterly Rock to find Father and Cersei prepared a small feast to welcome him, just them and all his uncles and cousins. The feast is nice and every one of his younger cousins asks him for tales about the time he fought next to Ser Arthur Dane. He happily complies. The attention soon drifts to his uncle Gerion who is now relating the story of the time he heard a mermaid’s song well deep on the jade sea for what it felt like the fiftieth time. Still, most of them listen intently. But Jaime looks at Diny instead of paying his uncle’s tale any attention. She is retreated in a dark corner of the dining room along with some musicians and singing in a faint voice knowing fully well she was just there as background noise for their chatters.

She is wearing an ill-fitting pale pink gown. It looks like she had grown so much and so fast the garment just didn’t fit anymore, probably most of her clothes didn’t by now if that was the case. He remembers earlier, when he saw he for the first time after all those years, all sweaty and red in the face from her practice. The tunic and breeches fitted her better than any gown would. She was taller than he expected and a bit broad on the shoulders compared to other women but he knew she was no ordinary girl nor he wanted her to be.

Even though he now is a man grown he is still the same Jaime and he truly hopes she is still the same Diny, his childhood best friend. Still, she was cold towards him and has yet to look at him tonight. His wishes to become true because she lifts her face and locks her eyes with him, her blush is evident despite the poor candle light and he can still see her eyes, big and beautiful sapphire pools, just like he remembered. To Jaime’s annoyance, she rapidly looks away and keeps singing.

***

Tyrion wanted to be angry at his brother but found out that he simply couldn’t. The second he saw him enter the library he ran as fast as his legs let him and hugged him fiercely “at least you’re happy to see me” he joked and hugged him back while lifting him.

“Why weren’t you in the dining hall?”

“Father” was his only answer, Jaime nodded in understanding

They talked for hours to no end about everything and nothing in particular, the distance Tyrion felt from all those years of Jaime being away growing shorter until he couldn’t even remember ever being apart.

“Why is Diny so distant?” Jaime finally asks him

“you left for almost six years Jaime, she’s probably angry about it but she’ll come around” he assured him

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come visit sooner” he apologized

“it’s ok, I knew you were busy” Jaime toyed with an empty cup he had on his hands. He looked remorseful and about to say something but he refrained “I’m here now little brother and I’m not going anywhere. We won’t part again” Tyrion felt a pang on his chest. He was soon to leave forever and his Father didn’t even inform Jaime of his plans. Still he kept the news for himself, he didn’t want to spoil this night.

They kept talking and talking and even after all the candles extinguished, they kept talking in the dark.

Tyrion was so happy to have Jaime back, for as long as he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay, my dad has been at the hospital for a couple of weeks now and i just couldn't write.   
> Hope it was worth the wait

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a review, it's free.


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